your body is 93% stardust so dont give up little star (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Beagle puppy barking for the first time. “I…don’t know how to express my feelings!”
YOU SHOULD SEE MY FUCKIGN FACE LIL PUPPY UR SO CUTE MLOVE MER
Once I was walking home with some law school friends and they were like ”Why are you walking up that street your street is like three more streets up”
"Yeah but there’s a house on this street and sometimes their golden retriever naps in the sun on the sidewalk and I like to give him belly rubs"
Now all the law students walk up belly rub lane because law school is stressful and dogs rock
Anonymous said: What advice do you have for a 14 year old girl?
This is so vague I love it. The voices you are hearing are real, god is speaking to you. The nation of France needs you. Don your armor, take up arms, lead the French army. This is your destiny, joan. When the flames come for you let them lick your bones and laugh.
xkit guy: here's the extension to get rid of this one
you sarcastic little shits
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL
that’s an awfully specific feeling for rain
im all about having more body posi media but not when the message is “boys like curvy girls” because who fucking cares what boys like
So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND
HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
NICK P L E A S E
"Underneath the footprints it says “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good” in clear UV-reactive ink"
The Harry Potter geek in me just freaked out.
gps: *says something*
everyone in car: *mocks gps pronunciation*
remember that time I joked that I knew english, australian, canadian, and irish and a bunch of irish people started sending me scary sounding archaic half-english words and thats how I found out irish was actually a language